I was reminded today...

Of something that happened to me not too long ago...
I had been to an electronics store, and as I walked back to the tram, I saw a man, sitting on a fence... He seemed sort of hopeless just sitting there, staring at his dog, which lay next to him in the grass... When I came closer to him I noticed he was crying, or had cried, and I asked him what was wrong with his dog...


He told me that the dog was old... And sick... But sometimes he felt good enough still to take a kind of long walk along the harbor, like he was doing at that time... But now the dog had laid down in the grass, and refused to get up...


He told me that even though he KNEW it was time to do the right thing and say goodbye to his dog... He still had hopes... False ones, he said... But still hopes...


The man said he was not strong enough to carry the dog home... But he had called his girlfriend on his mobile phone to come pick him up...


For some reason, even though I was in a hurry, I stayed with the man... And we both petted and talked to the dog... But all the dog gave in response was that he looked at us... His eyes broken... Tired... Old...


Some time later a car stopped... It was the man's girlfriend, and both crying they lifted the dog onto the backseat...


The man thanked me for stopping... Talking to him... Understanding... But as he was getting in the car I said to him NOT to take the dog to the vet right away... I told him to take it home... To put it in his favorite spot, and wait... Just a few hours if any... Because maybe the dog was ready to say goodbye all by himself, instead of with the help of the vet...


He promised me he would... And I wonder what happened... Because of course I never met the man again...


But today... This morning... I was reminded of this thing...


Because in the bathroom mirror... I saw those same kind of eyes stare back at me...


Broken...


Tired...


Old...


But ready to die???

DEADLINE: November 7th, 2004

Made official yesterday, this is the day I will be leaving the Netherlands AND arriving in America! I find it rather funny that I happened to arrive in the Netherlands on November 8th, 2002 and almost 2 years later, I'm leaving. But, as this day draws near, I am left with a tightness in my stomach that only Valdispert® (a valerian extract) can loosen for a six hour time span.

I can't get motivated .. I put off packing my suitcases .. I'm ever consumed with the fact that I'll be without Richard .. and I dare anybody to tell me I'm making too much of a big deal about it for I'll literally cast whatever curses and spells upon you and everyone around you and damn you to hell in the process!

I've waited what seems like an eternity for this man to enter my life and at 36 years old, he finally did .. he didn't care that I had cancer, he didn't care that because of that cancer I couldn't ever have children, he didn't care that I lived 4,600 miles away from him when we met online, he didn't care that I had my quirks and irritations, he didn't care that I was fat, he didn't care about any of the things that I thought were of importance to a man .. I must admit, he's like no other man I've ever met in my life!

And next to my father, you won't find a finer gentleman .. and I have to let him go on Sunday!

But, as we dwell on the negative, the positive is still there to give us hope! My Mom is paying on my plane ticket home tomorrow afternoon, my friend Laura has asked if I need a ride home which I've accepted, my friend Amy wants to be at the airport to offer support and my Mom will stay with me for a few days while I adjust to life without Ries. Afterwards, I'll be busting my ass to find employment to support myself. Richard has already assured me that he'll send money to suppliment my income. Thank God we lived poor 'cause that will help me survive during this financially low period in my life.

With my being back home, Richard will be living with his Mom once again and can save up money faster since there will be two incomes compared to our one. We'll still be working on getting Richard to the U.S., saving up money to file his application and we did find a joint sponsor to help me along in his sponsorship (thank you Miss Amy, you're a life saver!) and that gives us hope.

Bad things happen in order to appreciate the good ..

But one thing still feels bad .. I'm leaving my dog behind .. she feels what's going on .. she knows something's wrong .. she's my baby .. and as I watch her sleep, her head on my pillow, she fills my heart with love .. and that's my only strength.

Until later, folks ..

Continued!!!

Seperation is a fact as of today... But we kept our promise never to be separated voluntarily... This separation will hardly be voluntary and I wish the staff of Schiphol Airport a lot of strength when that day comes, because we will both probably break down there and then!!!

I will break another promise though... In all this... I have never ever wished anyone the pain and heartship that we went through and are going through!!! But now... I wish all this and then some upon those who could (or should) have done something to help us in this time of need...

Even though we survived and had to rely at many times on the help of many of our close friends and families... Other than that we knocked on many doors and all of them stayed closed... Only occasionally someone slipped a little note under the door, saying: We sympathise, but sorry kids...

Trust me when I say that all those TV shows that you see... (You know what I mean... We're talking shows that "help" people in their time of need...) Are NOT there to help people at all... They are there to get RATINGS (and therefore bring in money), and when you are deemed not VIEWER SENSITIVE enough, they will just give you the same "sympathy" as everyone else... And I know this because we were NOT VIEWER SENSITIVE enough for shows like Oprah and a couple of Dutch versions of this mockery of showboats...

"The Oprah team regretfully informs you that your submission to the show has been deemed not suitable and viewer sensitive enough..."

But then again... I was stupid enough to tell the team in my writings that I wasn't "really" a fan of Oprah, nor her show... So... Maybe I burned my own ships by being honest once more...

Which BTW will get you nowhere in this world... Lie, beg, steal or borrow... And signed, sealed, delivered it's yours...

My hurt is deep... And putting it to words is impossible...

I will have to say goodbye to my wife for a "undetermined" period of time... And that makes it worse... Because I don't even know WHEN I will see her again!!!

Ever heard the term: "I died today and was reborn with a piece my heart missing..." ???

Well... That happened to me today... And the piece that I am missing held "trust" and "compassion"...

I'm sorry...

Richard

One would think...

That I, Richard Manintveld, would have learned something... And if anything that I at least would have learned in the past two years that I should never listen to anyone telling you something!!! But... I didn't...


So... Here we are... We are going to be evicted from our house here in Schiedam on the 5th of November!!! Yes... You are reading this right... Today, on October the 26th we have heard that this will happen!!!


Why???


In April of 2004 we moved to Schiedam, and I had to request social security/welfare in that city... Something I had already for quite some time in Vlaardingen...


One would say, because these cities are "connected"... That this would not be such a problem...


Well... Forget about it... Because my welfare was only issued for the first time in August 2004!!!


So... We had debts... Hell... We didn't have no money... So how do you pay anything??? Right??? Or wrong???


One of the debts was a rental debt... With glorious Vitalis... (I would say to check out their site at http://www.vitaliswonen.nl but it's in Dutch) Just one month... For 420 Euro's... But instead of waiting until I could start paying them myself... They immediately took us to court for this money!!!


So, with all added costs it came to about 1400 Euro's!!!


A glorious "social worker" from social security Schiedam "helped" us in making arrangements with for paying this in six consecutive months, starting this month...


So... We were planning to make our first payment, believe it or not, TOMORROW!!!


But... Today we get these papers that state we're gonna be evicted on November 5th!!!


Me, thinking it a mistake, starts calling...


No mistake...


I begged... Pleaded... Prayed for humanity... Understanding...


Nothing!!! Because what is told to me is this and only this: You should have contacted us AFTER the arrangements that were made by named social worker...


HUH??? For what??? I was just getting ready with my wife to live of even less money than the regular 48 Euro's a week (about 70 bucks) and start paying this money saved from our mouths to a housing corp!!!


But...


It's over, guys...


WE WILL BE SEPARATED...


TO BE CONTINUED!!!
(Dinner time!!!)

~*~Our Goal~*~

Sleep? What's that?

Alright, as you know, we received our application last Friday from the American Consulate General. Richard has paperwork to fill out and it seems to be pretty straight forward. Once completed, he mails his application to the Consulate, they will complete all necessary administrative processing of his immigrant visa application and approximately one month before his scheduled interview appointment, he'll receive an appointment letter containing the date and time of his visa interview along with instructions for obtaining a medical examination.

What we need to do now is prepare for the appointment of his visa interview in which we need to gather some documents required for his application; birth certificate, police certificate, passport, deportation papers, court or prison records, military records, marriage certificate .. sure sounds like alot! After all this is obtained, we'll need to bring them to the visa interview.

I have paperwork to fill out as well .. although mine is going to be along the difficult side; I'm in charge of something called "Affidavit of Support" (form I-864) documents. As a petitioner (or sponsor), you must show that an intending immigrant has adequate means of financial support and is not likely to become a public charge. I need to show that my household income must equal or exceed 125% of the Federal poverty line for my household size, which according to the 2004 Poverty Guidelines would be $11,638 as I'm considered a household size of 1.

Examples of what I need to provide:

1.) Evidence of Income. I need to submit my Federal income tax returns for the most RECENT 3 tax years, or an explanation if fewer are submitted. 2001, 2002, 2003 - this is going to be fun!

• 2001, unemployed - due to my Ovarian Cancer diagnosis in 2000, treatment and recovery.
• 2002, I did work this year but the first few months were part time until I was eligible for full time in July. I quit right before leaving for the Netherlands in November.
• 2003, being illegal and waiting for a court decision to appeal a denial makes for an awkward way to gain employment and safe employment at that!

2.) Evidence of Assets. This is used only when you haven't sufficient enough income to meet the requirements. It just so happens I own a home .. my father left his home to me via 'Living Will' and I will have to provide documentation establishing location, ownership, date of acquisition and value. I have nothing stating the home is mine .. all I have is the Deed which my sister handed over to me and my name isn't on it .. having your name entered was done away with for some reason or another.
I wrote to the Chief @ the Immigrant Visa branch to let them know of my dilemna with my Fed. tax returns. What I'm afraid of is I'll need to find a joint sponsor .. and I hate to rely on anyone for anything but, if that's the case, I'm gonna have to break down and do so. Perhaps my Mom will help .. she wants us in America bad enough to kill someone or at least do some type of damage! We can only ask ..
Perhaps I'm worried over nothing .. with everything we've already gone through, how could I begin to imagine that this process would be easy? Some more sleepless nights to follow until I get some answers ..

'Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained'

This definitely is our motto for the time being ..

We're resigned in the fact that we'll never get my denial turned around and decided a few weeks ago to begin filing a 'Petition for Alien Residency' for Richard to come to America. He made the call to the American Embassy with our request, received the paperwork the following day and filled out the forms. Now all we needed was to take a road trip to Amsterdam to hand them over!

Wednesday, Oct. 6, 2004:
With $185 (€157.25) in hand, we made the trip to the American Embassy in Amsterdam to file! But living with a silly Dutch guy makes this not such a simple trip to make! When you enter the grounds of the Am. Em., you go through a security checkpoint before going to a second checkpoint. The first Security Guard is checking us through and notices the "Gun" shaped belt buckle my darling wears most of the time and asks if it's 'real' (he's kidding, alright?). Richard is rambling at this time for he's not even aware that he has it on and how it could raise 'suspicions'. 1st guy lets us through after confiscating the Swiss Army knife Ries has on his keychain .. an on to the 2nd guy! We stand outside the building and one by one, the applicants go through the door once you're announced to do so. Once inside, there's a windowed booth with the 2nd guard enclosed within. He asks for your belongings which are put in this metal bin that's manually opened and closed by Mr. 2nd guard. This time though, he wants the belt buckle!!!! So we leave the buckle, the cellular phone and proceed into the building to file while I'm trying to remind myself to pick up our items once we leave. Apparently during this second inspection, Richard isn't given his wallet back so it is promptly returned to him while we're in line. We finally get up to the window with our petition and then the guy who's gonna help us says "One minute please .." and walks off! *sigh* 3 minutes later, he returns! We give him our petition, our passports, a passport photo of each of us, our Marriage Certificate and the process is begun! What I found funny is that he made a comment about how he's heard of us through colleagues of his .. yeah, word gets around .. must have been from the "Metro" interview .. guess those interviews did do us some good after all! We sit and wait for an approval which came after a few minutes and would you believe the official who does the approvals has a wife who's Missourian? Small world, ain't it? He makes me swear that everything I entered into the petition was truthful .. I swore it was .. and off we went .. knife, gun, mobile phone and wallet in check!
I have to mention that this trip would NOT have been possible if it weren't for our wonderful friend Martin .. he's been one of our biggest supporters from the very beginning of our union! He contributed our train tickets (he has a special card which gives him 40% off the normal train ticket price) and he even went so far as to request Madame Tussard tickets from his employer for something to do while we were there in the city. Yeah, who wants to take a 1 hour trip to one of the most awesome tourist spots in the Netherlands just to stand outside the Am.Em. for an hour only to drop off some boring paperwork and then come straight back home? Bless you Martin .. and we got our picture taken with the 'Robbie Williams' wax figure .. woohoo!

Friday, Oct. 8, 2004:Well, the paperwork arrived .. it will take up to 10 weeks for processing .. we've apparently got alot of work to do .. will post a blog about that at a later date! I think you've got enough to read for now .. lol!